Inspiration, or the lack there of…

I wish I felt inspired.

I hate winter and I hate the Midwest. I have felt so trapped inside my own head lately, and sometimes that is a scary place. I truly am my worst enemy, and I am a cruel cunt of an enemy to have. (Heh.)

I have struggled lately, struggled to understand people, and struggled with finding myself overly disgusted by the people we are surrounded by in the bible belt. I, literally, lost my salon business recently, because of “god”. When the people we are forced to interact with on a daily basis are the types of people who do things because “god tells them they need to”, I find it hard to make myself interact with said people. This, in turn, enables me to be just as anti-social as I would like to be, which probably isn’t helpful.

However, it often takes a kick in the teeth to motivate you to reevaluate priorities and goals. Our goal? To get the fuck away from here. In the meantime? I am focused on school, learning everything I possibly can about studio lighting, currently. I am focused on my family, my awesome little family that always has my back, no matter what. I am also focusing on myself right now. I have changes to make, promises to myself to make good on, and continuing to implement the positive changes I have already made.

I want to make sure I have something to offer and contribute when we finally get home. 

Ending on a positive note, I finally got my studio lighting kit that I have been waiting on. So, I wanted to share my first experience with them. 🙂

Burry Smoke